I was getting slightly impatient with C because he kept dawdling where we parked the bike, when I wanted to go inside. He was looking for and collecting what he calls “stones”, but what in reality are mutant hazelnuts. They are falling from the trees in any case. And when I finally got him in the door he would do more lingering in the doorway. But then I realized what he was doing. He was working on another toddler objet trouvé piece.

The stones had to first be sorted by size: Only if they did not fit through the grate in the entrance did they make it into the doormat.

Most of them were too big.

Over the past few weeks I tried to document his progress.

Night Rituals

Strangely, often the light and shadows of the moon seem more defined than the daytime ones. I am so conditioned now to waking up every 1-3 hours that even on those rare occasions when C. does not wake me I cannot sleep.

But I am also so sleep deprived that it almost seems the moon shadows come to life!

(wild and exiting nights I have)

I have successfully moved C. from my bed to a mattress next to my bed, but I’m not sure that this is helping. Now when he wakes up and cannot immediately he becomes disoriented and searches the apartment in a state of panic. So I get up and go after him, but he is very fast, even when running in his sleeping bag(!!) and these nightly chases happen in the dark.

When we finally find each other it is almost like running into an unexpected ghost.

(Speaking of ghosts: Is your father still visiting?)

The nightly chase: me looking for C. looking for me:

photo 1

looking for me looking for him:

photo 2


photo 4


LA Nights

IMG_4689(“But at night it’s a different world”. . . Lovin’ Spoonful)

Every night, just before S. falls asleep, when the house is dark and (only relatively!) cool, and the
tv has been turned off, and only the crickets are chirping. . . I walk into her bedroom to say goodnight, tuck her in, and TICKLE her feet. . . probably the only time of day she laughs. . .